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If you struggle with addiction in your life, navigating triggers around the holiday season can feel impossible.
Taking a little time to prepare yourself in advance can make a lot of difference. Here are some ways to help you manage the external and internal pressures that can come up during the holidays.
Plan activities with sober (or sober supportive) friends and family
Shopping together, looking at the holiday lights, seeing live holiday shows or attending family-friendly events. Daytime dates over brunch, coffee, or lunch. Active outings, like hiking, skiing, snowboarding, or simply sightseeing at new locations. Going for walks to enjoy parks or green areas (or to see the holiday lights on foot).
At gatherings, find sober activities to enjoy and keep yourself occupied
Helping to prepare the meal, set the table, or serving up the plates. Being of service to the hosts, by helping to clean up before and/or after the gathering, helping decorate the house or the yard, making a playlist. Helping outdoors with the firewood and/or the lights.
Playing board games, card games, or instruments. Playing with the animals and/or the kids!
Pay special attention to the kids around the holidays – they can be inspiring and fun.
Appoint yourself the person that plays with the children - this allows you to have fun, while also keeping them, and you, occupied.
Following their lead can immerse you into games and activities and it can provide both of you with the connections and playfulness we all need to enjoy the holidays.
Family friendly events can be super fun as an adult - just look for opportunities to play!
Decorate cookies, or Build a fort. Go outside and play tag or other active games. Challenge them to a duel at their favorite video game (even if you’re no good!). Read books or make puzzles.
Plan ahead to find different ways to cope with the triggers you may encounter
You may know that interacting with your family is triggering, or that your friends’ party will have drinking. The good news is you can plan ahead of time how you would like to handle that.
Start by creating your own script: When your loved ones offer you a drink (or anything else that might compromise your recovery), stick to the simplest responses: “No thanks, I’m taking a break.” Or “No, I don’t drink anymore.” Or simply a good humored, “No, thanks, I’m ok!” Find one that works for you and stick to it.
Sometimes friends and family can feel that your sobriety means that they are being judged for their drinking or using – this is why they may try to convince you to join in. Just keep it simple and positive. They’ll eventually get the picture.
Enjoy non-alcoholic beverages like sparkling cider or hot chocolate – keeping one close by will often stop folks from offering you a drink.
Bringing a sober friend can help immensely.
You can plan together ahead of time how to respond to difficult situations, and/or how to excuse yourself early if needed. Having an escape plan is necessary if you feel triggered. Sober friends are great for keeping you accountable to your goals - also to talk with during and after a stressful gathering.
Remember: Celebrating the Holidays can be Fun Sober!
It’s all about how you think about it. If you tell yourself that you’re missing out by being sober, none of it will be enjoyable. Focus on the little things that do bring you joy – movies with friends, silly games, spending time with loved ones, eating good food. Relish every moment, because being sober means you can enjoy it and remember all of it.
Staying sober around the holidays is easier when you have a regular routine of good self-care the rest of the time:
Eat well, paying attention to moderating caffeine, sugar, and processed foods
Get exercise daily; Get enough sleep
Manage your stress at work and at home
Get out into nature (even in the gray, rainy winters of the Pacific Northwest!)
Make sure to get the downtime you need to recharge
Find ways to have creativity, laughter, mindfulness, and/or spirituality in your life
Attend meetings, reach out to sober friends, and/or see a counselor consistently